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Needle Freak
Feb. 15th, 2013 07:11 pmSo for the past four months I've been injecting testosterone with a tiny needle because nobody told me different. Injectable testosterone is a thick, oily substance, and I would spend ten or fifteen minutes filling my syringe each month, then have trouble getting the stuff out of the needle and into my flesh. I finally saw something (don't remember what) that clued me in, and yesterday, for my most recent shot, I used a 20-gauge needle. It filled in just moments, and once I got past the fear of shoving that huge spike into my butt cheek, it was ever so much easier to inject. I'm kind of a slow learner.
I never pass as male so well as when I'm dressed in drag. On Mardi Gras, I wore a red and gold Chinese dress and a black cartwheel hat with a veil, and all day I was sir'd and sent to men's restrooms and so on. The next day, dressed in my regular clothes, I got called "ma'am" for the first time in weeks. Go figure.
Making art tonight. Hoping to list some new crosses and boxes very soon. Also, I'm on Facebook again. (Billy Martin in New Orleans, in case that link doesn't work for you.) Feel free to friend me.
I never pass as male so well as when I'm dressed in drag. On Mardi Gras, I wore a red and gold Chinese dress and a black cartwheel hat with a veil, and all day I was sir'd and sent to men's restrooms and so on. The next day, dressed in my regular clothes, I got called "ma'am" for the first time in weeks. Go figure.
Making art tonight. Hoping to list some new crosses and boxes very soon. Also, I'm on Facebook again. (Billy Martin in New Orleans, in case that link doesn't work for you.) Feel free to friend me.
At the Lords of Leather Ball last night, between being called "sir" several times and having a friend I hadn't seen in a year do a massive double take at me, I realized that -- in this default-queer setting, anyway -- I was passing completely. Which led to the following conversation later:
ME: I just hope cisgendered people take a moment every now and then to appreciate being seen for what they are -- every day -- without having to think about it. Because it's so great.
GREY: Actually, I disagree. Because I've known a lot of effeminate men who were mistaken for women, and a lot of masculine women who --
ME (affecting great crankiness): GOD, you people JUST CAN'T DO IT, can you? You just can't let a trans person talk about being misgendered without going "WELL WELL WELL, it happens to us TOO!!!"
GREY: But it does happen --
ME (raving): I'm sure it does, but I have NEVER EVER heard a SINGLE INSTANCE of a trans person discussing misgendering without some cis person popping up to say "I got called sir/ma'am one time, so I TOTALLY GET IT!!!"
GREY (affecting smugness): Actually, I don't like the term "cisgendered." I prefer "gender-comfortable."
ME: AAARRGBLLHGFHTFHBBQ I AM FILLING OUT A BINGO CARD ON YOU MOTHERFUCKER
Which all made me realize anew: I don't know if it's down to testosterone, getting laid on a regular basis, or just having a partner who can effectively puncture my vapors and pomposities, but I am so much less angry than I used to be. That seems like a counterintuitive effect of testosterone, but maybe if my body chemistry is finally getting closer to what it was always supposed to be ... Come to think of it, most of the FTM guys I've met, both in real life and virtually, have seemed pretty easygoing.
I used to be able to write conclusions, but I can't anymore, so I'm just going to leave this here.
ME: I just hope cisgendered people take a moment every now and then to appreciate being seen for what they are -- every day -- without having to think about it. Because it's so great.
GREY: Actually, I disagree. Because I've known a lot of effeminate men who were mistaken for women, and a lot of masculine women who --
ME (affecting great crankiness): GOD, you people JUST CAN'T DO IT, can you? You just can't let a trans person talk about being misgendered without going "WELL WELL WELL, it happens to us TOO!!!"
GREY: But it does happen --
ME (raving): I'm sure it does, but I have NEVER EVER heard a SINGLE INSTANCE of a trans person discussing misgendering without some cis person popping up to say "I got called sir/ma'am one time, so I TOTALLY GET IT!!!"
GREY (affecting smugness): Actually, I don't like the term "cisgendered." I prefer "gender-comfortable."
ME: AAARRGBLLHGFHTFHBBQ I AM FILLING OUT A BINGO CARD ON YOU MOTHERFUCKER
Which all made me realize anew: I don't know if it's down to testosterone, getting laid on a regular basis, or just having a partner who can effectively puncture my vapors and pomposities, but I am so much less angry than I used to be. That seems like a counterintuitive effect of testosterone, but maybe if my body chemistry is finally getting closer to what it was always supposed to be ... Come to think of it, most of the FTM guys I've met, both in real life and virtually, have seemed pretty easygoing.
I used to be able to write conclusions, but I can't anymore, so I'm just going to leave this here.
Tiny Chairs
Jan. 19th, 2013 04:54 pmI'm supposed to be getting dressed for the Petronius ball. Instead I am squee-ing over tiny chairs, which I need for a commissioned shadowbox I'm making.
